Author Archives: holydogwater

If I Wanted America To Fail

COQ Compiler

Well, well, well, the French have invented a little programming language and decided to name it COQ.  So, let’s put 20 seconds on the CLOQ and see how many IT jokes we can tell.
  • So, I see here on your résumé that you had extensive experience working with COQ in college.  Can you elaborate?  (HDW)
  • Staring at a monitor all day will make you go CoqIDE. (QOK)
  • Describe a time when you’ve handled COQ before.  (DF)
  • What is the name of that software language you used… it’s right on the tip of my tongue!  (HDW)
  • What shop are they over at Microsoft again?  Oh, that’s right… they’re a COQ Shop.  (HDW)
  • Is COQ blocking or is it ASSynchronous?  (QOK)
  • To install COQ, just unzip it.  (QOK)
  • COQ is bloatwear?  (QOK)
  • Free as in speech, or free as in COQ?  (QOK)
  • Just put the COQ disk in the hard drive.  (QOK)
  • When is the next rollout of COQ?  (QOK)
  • Terabytes COQ. Bitch.  (QOK)
  • COQ is a third-party tool.  (QOK)
  • Does COQ output Big O notation?  (QOK)

Well played QOK.  You win!  Your prize?  You guessed it; COQ!!!  Thanks for playing with my COQ.

What Does A Democrat Say?

Another Hockey Game Broke Out During A Fight

This is what I’m talking about. White Hot Hate!!! These teams hate each other so much that they started the game with their enforcers at the line (something you shouldn’t do if you want the puck unless of course you don’t want the puck and instead want to beat someone’s ass).

And In Future NASCAR News…

I was reading an article about the Ford Fusion Hybrid being the pace car for this weekends race (first hybrid pace car ever) and it dawned on me….. what happens to NASCAR in 25 years when they outlaw the internal combustion engine?  Either they go renegade like back during the early years of running moonshine (my vote), or they convert to electric cars.  Imagine that pit stop for Dale Jr the Third!

“I think I can make it without coming in for a charge dadgummit,” exclaims Third!

“Damn it Third, get that Hyundai/Stella/Duracell/Amp/NAACP 3.5 car in here and plugged into the outlet this instant!  Mark Martin is already charging his car and will be back out there in less than six hours,” screams Third’s crew chief, Dale Jr.

“Come on Daddy, I can make it!.  Just throw me out the Lowes Depot extension cord…. it’ll reach this time!!!!!!

Later that evening on SportsCenter… “Tonight on SportsCenter, highlights of the Taco Bell Mexico City 500, Third coming in next to the last place, just beating out Kyle Petty once again, after thinking he can make it to the finish line with just half an ohm left in the ‘tank’.”  What do you have to say Third,” asks the ESPN reporter as Third takes a big gulp of Stella Light?  “This is bull!  These Inductive Voltage Restrictor Plates can kiss my country !!!”  Back to you Stu.<!–Dananuant Dananuant>

Veggies For Everyone!

IMG00439, originally uploaded by DMBPearl.

This is where we always leave the vegetable plate for Jags tailgating.

Baby Food 101

image

Never name anything Meat Sticks. Ever!

New President’s (Insert Something Here)

Okay, I’ve received about 50 emails over the past couple weeks outlining the “New President’s <insert something here>” and just to let everyone know… I GET IT, HE’S BLACK!!!!  We know, our president is a black guy but we’re going to have to be a little more original than this.  Ha, ha, ha, Air Force One is now the plane from that movie Soul Plane.  He, he, he, the White House will no longer stock mayo in the fridge but will carry magnums in the medicine cabinets.  LOL, the presidential automobile is now a stretch limo with 22s and a bad ass stereo system.  LMAO, the Secret Service agents are now issued weapons that are fully automatic and… oh wait, that’s the same.

Point being, it wasn’t funny to me when a president from Texas was parodied none stop as a cowboy or one from Arkansas a hillbilly.  This kind of humor is not funny people!!!!  Learn to have a little sensitivity and above all else, a sense of humor.  With that being said, this photo of the President’s New Dog is totally spot on.


Join Now… Before Your Neighbor Does!

Chairman 0bama’s Civilian National Security Force**
There’s only one thing worse than a nosy neighbor, and that’s a nosy neighbor who’s part of a civilian national security force.  Join Now!

**Child-sized Waffen shirts available in brown only.

Cool Video… Or Coolest Video Ever?

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