Check out this excerpt from an article published in the UK about the worlds soon to be tallest building.

The 2,000ft tower featuring 1,200 residences, would top the city’s 1,451ft Sears Tower and become the tallest building in the US. It would soar above the 1,776ft Freedom Tower that is currently being constructed on the site of the World Trade Centre, which was destroyed in the September 11 attacks.

According to this article, apparently there was an attack on September 11 that destroyed the World Trade Centre.  Boy, you can’t hide anything from the UK media.  Where the hell was the US media on this one?  I wonder if there’s any video out there of the attack?  Can you say cover-up? 

But seriously, I do like the fact that they’re replacing the WTC with a tower that’s 1,776 feet tall.  That number does sound familiar.  1776????  Hmmmm????  Oh yeah, I got it.  1776 is the year we declared our Independence from the tyranny of the British throne.  Clever guys.  Just like in the movie Independence Day.

Again, this is something the British media just glosses over and fails to mention in the article.  Actually, I would love to see that 4th grader in London reading, for the very first time, those three very small sentences on that year in world history.  “Teacher, you mean to tell me we used to own America?  Bugger me!  What rubbish!  ‘Ello Gov’ner!”  Feel free to insert any other British terms you may have learned while watching Benny Hill as a child. 

Finding out your county used to own America must be like finding out the billionaire guy down the street with the cool house and car actually won all those nice things from your dad in a game of darts.  Painful indeed.  I guess we American school kids got that same feeling when we found out we bought Alaska from the Russians for six cent an acre, or the Louisiana Purchase for about three cent an acre, or Manhattan from the Indians for some beads and dirty blankets, or Hawaii and the Virgin Islands for…. oh wait, these are all bad examples.  Stupid Scott!

I must say, I would rather pick a date in history for the height of the building besides one that reminds the British about how we kicked them to sleep that year.  Remember, they are just about our only true ally in the defense of western civilization today.  So instead, maybe we could build it 1,492 feet tall, to coincide with the year the Spanish expelled the evil muslim invading moors from their country?  Or maybe 1,686 feet tall, to represent the 1686 Battle of Budapest, when the muslims were again expelled by the west?  You know on second thought, let’s keep with 1,776 since we all know that this was the true beginning of the end for those that fear freedom.   

So, 1,776 it is.   Just thank God we didn’t declare our independence too long ago; say 324 A.D.  Ladies and gentlemen — presenting, the Bank of America Freedom Tower. 

Phallacy Wow, it’s so big!


Posted on April 25, 2007, in Humor, Politics, Punditry. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. The Wearer of the Pants

    I know its missing your point completely (which was very entertaining), but…. how phallic can BOA Tower be, really…. no really.

  2. It’s phallic enough for me to feel like I’m walking into the worlds biggest Ambrochromie and Finch store!!!!

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