Elephantfightus of the Nuts
HDW has a reliable source in Bangcock (that’s how I spell it, that’s how I’ll always spell it, so suck it Miss Sapp, you crazy seventh grade geography teacher), Thailand that a new Elephant Fighting Ring has been broken up and international grand jury charges are looming for… you guessed it—The Vicktim himself—Michael Vick. The story broke to the public when one of The Vicktim’s elephants went ape shit berserk on a circus goer. The circus goer was screwing with the elephant so it took an equal and measured response.
“The elephant then grabbed the man’s body with his trunk and hurled him on to the ground before stomping on his body,” he said.
The elephant was not happy about the whole thing and decided to get pissed at everyone. The angry elephant—just like me—required lots of bananas to regulate his temper.
Onlookers then managed to temporally placate the elephant by feeding him bunches of bananas, but he turned angry again, and dented a pickup truck parked nearby before his trainer — who had been away — returned and managed to calm him down, Thanit said.
The trainer was asked if maybe he should have been there while his elephant was busy killing a circus customer and was asked where he was during the event. He said—loosely quoted (meaning not a quote at all)—“I was taking a left-handed smoke break and also helping Ron India wash his elephant in preparation for the elephant fights tonight.” Here’s an exclusive HDW video of one of the elephant fights.
That’s Michael Vick riding the elephant on the left. After the show, Vick drown his elephant in a large vat of baby seal blood.