Check This Out
Next weeks Mensa meeting in Colorado will be short one member after this rocket surgeon decided to rob a bank by writing the “give me all your money” note on the back of one of his own checks. This event will in no way take any number one votes away from the first place duct tape bandit, but this new guy should be in a solid position to take second place for the year. The perp did have the foresight to at least attempt to black out his own name on the check, but I’m sure he forgot about the account number linked directly to his home address. Surprisingly enough, he is now enjoying an extended stay at the Downtown Colorado Hilton. Just a friendly reminder, if you plan on holding up a bank anytime soon, here’s a list of things not to do.
- Do not write the “give me all your money” note on the back of your baby.
- Do not ask the teller to deposit the stolen money into your own account (or an accomplice’s account for that matter). And yes, I’m saying this because someone has actually tried that before.
- In fact, don’t ever rob a bank that you actually have an account with. What? Are you really that busy not having a job that you can’t find a bank that doesn’t have your name, home address, photo, and possibly finger prints on file?
- Do not rob a bank in the middle of summer in Miami while wearing a ski mask and parka. Remember, this will probably draw attention to you. That doesn’t mean you waltz in wearing no disguise, just make it more believable than a football helmet. Besides, you should be doing what any self-respecting criminal does during the summer months… operating a meth lab in your trailer.
- And finally, think outside the box. Mix it up a bit. Remember, these banks are just chocked full o’ money, so they have plenty of it to use on cameras, and guards, and security systems controlled by tellers who spend countless hours training to use them. Just whatever you do, no duct tape!