To Catch a Dolphin

It’s Funny Cause It’s True

 A CBS sports television producer was arrested when he attempted to trade his Miami Dolphins tickets in exchange for sex with an 11-year-old girl.  The producer thought he was in a chat room with a father willing to sell his little daughter for the NFL tickets.  Turns out, the father was actually an undercover detective (thank God).  Really CBS employee?  You actually thought a father would do that… for Miami Dolphins tickets!?!?  The shitty Dolphins???  Really?  The same game that wasn’t even close to sold out and you could score tickets from a scalper for like $20?  Come on asshole!!!!

All kidding aside, if we’re all really good this week and we pray as much as possible, maybe, just maybe this guy will be thrown in a Broward County lock-up for a stretch while awaiting trial.  While there, maybe the guards will tip off a few of the bigger, blacker, hornier inmates about this sick f*cks charges.  Who knows, maybe his prison bitch will exchange sex with him for a pack of New Ports.  Nah, not New Ports, Kools maybe, but he’s certainly worth more than New Ports, right?  Either way, we can dare to dream.

I wish someone who opposes the death penalty would come to this site and explain to me how they can think these devils incarnate should still have their heads attached to their bodies after being found guilty of such crimes in a court of law.  Yes, give them due process, but then give them a fast track appeal and once they’re found guilty (and appealed), they’re executed.  Done.  No, it won’t stop all pedophiles, but it’ll stop some still alive and all that are dead.  I promise you that 100% of the pedophiles executed will never hurt another child again.  Ever! 

Please, I beg of you.  Come explain the reasoning of your opposition to the death penalty.  I need to know how you tick.  Someone who feels the need to stand outside of a prison and hold a sign with scripture and shed a tear while these animals are executed way too humanely for my tastes.  Animals like this John Couie who raped and buried Jessica Lunsford alive.  Please, bring the Bible, the US Constitution, the New York Times.  Anything to make me understand why you’re not a complete and utter stupid piece of shit. 

Then, I’ll explain to you why you should be sitting in the laps of these animals getting horsey rides while they’re in that electric chair.  God charges you with one important task above all others… protecting children.  I’m willing to chance my soul to hell for eternity to ensure these bastards never get a chance to get near my child or anyone else’s.  That’s called faith in God, and you should try it sometime you greedy selfish sanctimonious asshole.  Anyone?  Any takers?  Please!!!!


Posted on October 2, 2007, in ...And In The News, Death Penalty, Football. Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.


    Check out all these people who share a page with Michael Moore. Look toward the bottom, and you will see the Unabomber’s brother oppose the death penalty. If I found out my brother was the Unabomber, they’d have to protect him from me.

  2. The Wearer of the Pants

    To support your case:

    Only 15 priors here.

  3. The “I Oppose the Death Penalty” sign holders referenced above by Q are forgetting one thing. Shouldn’t they be wondering what kind of sign the tens of thousands murdered every year in this country would want to hold up? How about the 9-year-olds raped and brutally tortured and killed by someone who’s been arrested 15 times for child molestation. What kind of sign would they hold up? Hey, Michael Moore, Jessica Lundsford could not be reached for comment. Maybe because she was killed by one of these douche-bags you assholes “rehabilitate” and set free. Her blood is on your hands and in your bank account Michael Moore.

    Yes, innocent people are tried and convicted and even on very rare occasion I’m sure are put to death. This has happened and it’s an outrage and our system must be built to prevent such very rare events; and I think it is. The photos of people freed from death row holding up signs opposing the death penalty are proof that the system works. They’re free and the system freed them.

    If these idiots would take the time to research what a state has to go through to execute the handful of vicious criminals that they do each year, they’d be much more supportive. Should my cousin, a man that took three innocent lives for money be allowed the chance to take more lives, even if they are just the ones he’s surrounded by in prison for life? How about this ad campaign Michael Moore — photos of all the repeat sexual predators and child murderers holding up signs opposing the death penalty next to the shallow grave where they tortured, raped, and buried their child victims? You fucking fat piece of ignorant shit!

  4. Yet at the same time, if one has done such shameful things as mentionned above, if one has ‘deserved to die’ (in your terms), would it not be worse to let him live with his shame and bloodstains, for all to see?

    By no means I would want them to be released once again upon the population, but to me death is a liberation. To mostof us dwellers of the mortal realms, death is percieved as negative but like anything, it also has it’s ups as much as it’s downs. Personally I love life dearly, I enjoy what little beauty is left in this world, however was someone to announce my death tomorrow morning, I’d be at peace with it.

    As you have said yourself these ‘things’ (it is too kind to them and too insulting to nature’s creatures to call them ‘animals’) are put down humanely. Taking that and what I have said above do you not think that the death penalty is somehow to no avail? Maybe those criminals don’t want to die, especially if they feel no shame form what they have done, but alot might prefer to die than live with their conscience.

    If you are to give them death, at least let them go through what their victims have gone through (this is pro-death penalty). But I’d rather be able to throw heavy objects and spoiled fruits and vegetables at them, let them live in the light of their crimes for the open public to mock and hate until the day they die ‘naturally’ (that was anti-death penalty fyi).

  5. I too have heard the argument that death is too good for these beasts, and if the penal system were truly “hard time” as it used to be, then I would be okay knowing they were rotting for the rest of their miserable lives. I would agree that if left to my own devices, these animals would not be put down humanely, but rather would die a slow and painful and long felt death. Nothing is too extreme when punishing those who would hurt a child.

    But, we live in a society where this kind of extreme justice is not permitted (and I would even argue if we did, it would be a slippery slope indeed). So, I will take what I can get. Allowing these freaks to go free 15 times only to hurt other children is the event more common today, so I say to you, kill them and be done with it. Don’t give the justice system a chance to supposedly reform them. Yes, revenge is sweet, but this is more about protecting other children from these human stains. Like the old saying goes, Kill Them All And Let God Sort Them Out!

  6. Perhaps you haven’t studied how the death penalty is applied unfairly to racial minorities. The blacker you are the more likely to be sentenced to death you are. Furthermore, did you know that of the criminals executed, 90% were for the murder of white victims, whereas around 50% of the murder victims in the US are black. Why should we support a system of inequality and unfair justice? Yes, the death penalty does send a strong message, unfortunately that message is that white life is worth more than black.

  7. So, I’m assuming Mr. “Intelligent” is stating that he’d be all for the death penalty if they enacted a racial quota. Is that right? That sounds like a great idea to me. No reason that makes no sense…

    “Sorry Mr. Defendant, we were going to give you life in prison, but we need to execute just one more white/black person this year to even things out.”

    I don’t have time at this moment (damn you work and holidays), but I will soon post why your incredibly inaccurate math and logic is oh so wrong. Tell your college professor you want your money back. Here’s a little homework for you while you’re waiting. Look up the black population in this country (hint: it’s around 13%) and then the white population (another hint: it’s around the 70% range). Now, go look at recent crime stats and imagine how I’m going to destroy your argument against the death penalty. I know, math is hard!!!! 😦

  8. Just had a great website forwarded to me. Click here and check out all the Last Words of death row inmates in Texas. Before you start feeling sorry for these animals with all their “I’m sorry” and “I now love Jesus” bullshit, make sure you read what this guy did. My personal favorite was the guy that ended his last words statement with a quick, “Alright… Murder me, Warden!”

    Sorry guys, no video as of yet. But remember, this is Texas, so it’ll happen eventually.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: