The All New 2008 Chevy MaliBOOM!

Are you kidding me?  This is just further proof that there is a God and he does love me (and HDW for that matter).  A major automobile manufacturer is actually producing a Muslim only car.  I shit you not, check out the amazing details.

Among the features on the proposed vehicle are compasses that point toward Mecca and compartments for the Koran and prayer scarves, CNSNEWS.com reported. Proton, a Malaysia-based car maker, may agree to develop the “Islamic Car.”

I know exactly what you insensitive bastards out there are thinking.  Yes, there are a few “features” the new car is diffidently lacking for today’s busy Muslim on the go.  Since all the writers for The Tonight Show and The Daily Show are on strike, and both those shows hosts couldn’t write a joke if their lives depended on it (god we miss you Johnny Carson) , I’ll see what I can do for you.   

First off, we need to come up with a good name for the car.  How about the 2008 Honda Peace Accord?  Nah, obviously no one in the middle-east will buy that!  How about the all new 2008 Chrysler 300 Sparta Edition?  Wait, that may bring up feelings of inadequacies, so let’s move on.  Chrysler Crossfire?  NO!  Aston Martin Vanquish?  HELL NO!  Mitsubishi Mirage?  Too easy.  Well, since there are no cars that rhyme with “Kill All the Jews” I guess I’ll let you guys comment and we’ll decide on a name later.               

In the mean time—and without further ado—I bring you the all new 2008 Chevy MaliBOOM!  Standard Features include:

  • Genuine Camel Hair Upholstery
  • 3.6 Liter Twin Turbine Engine
  • Powerful All Treble FM-Only Radio (designed for your middle-eastern music listening pleasure and absolutely no talk radio… those infidels!)
  • Passenger-side Airbag With Automatic Disable Feature for Transporting Infidels (i.e., Christians and Jews)
  • 17-inch Alloy Wheels
  • Electrical Hookups in the Trunk for Connecting Bombs (warranty voided where car bombing is prohibited)
  • MOSS – Male Only Starter System (disables starter when a woman attempts to drive)
  • ABS – Allah Bombing System (e.g., remote start)
  • Cruise Control (and by cruise, I mean early warning cruise missile detection)
  • Sunroof (perfect for all those happy moments when you just can’t wait to shoot your AK-47 into the air)
  • Horn with Special Allalalalalalala Sound (perfect compliment while shooting AK-47)
  • EPA Estimated Mileage: 4 MPG City, 6 MPG Highway

Remember, every MaliBOOM comes with the “MaliBOOM No Jew Guarantee”.  We promise that no Jew or pork product has ever touched any part of your car, or your money back.  If you’d like to test drive the all new 2008 MaliBOOM please visit your local neighborhood convenient store today.  Demand is expected to blow up fast, so hurry.  Trust us, every Muslim will be just dying to martyr themselves to get their hands on one of these beautiful automobiles.   

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Posted on November 12, 2007, in Humor, Punditry. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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