Category Archives: McCain

Red Meat, Blue Balls!

Red Dawn
The attached image and link is that of the 2008 presidential election results by county.  Some interesting observations (besides all that red gun clinging).

  • Thanks a lot college towns of Gainesville and Tallahassee in Florida.  Isn’t it enough we’re paying for your college already?  You unappreciative assholes.
  • Check out that one big square in the middle of Maine that went for McCain.  Looks like Bob, Jimmy, and Bill, the only three guys that live in that area, are being surrounded.  Don’t give up!
  • Checkout the border counties with Mexico.  It almost forms a fence of blue.  And that’s the only fence you’ll see down there for a while.
  • California isn’t liberal, only the people who live at the beach.  And I’m assuming that red county in Southern California is called San Diego.
  • Oklahoma — The only state with every county going for one candidate.  I said state!  Small cities they call states like the Peoples Republic of Vermont doesn’t count.
  • That white county in the middle of Colorado…. they were all too stoned to go vote, so no one won.
  • If anyone can tell me exactly why there’s a distinct and defined strip of blue through the middle of the Carolinas, Georgia, Alabama, and Mississippi I would appreciate it.  I checked google maps and it’s not a major Interstate system causing it.  It has me baffled.
REDRUM!

REDRUM!

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Yes, She Can!

After watching Mrs. Palin, I want the ticket flipped — McCain For VP, Palin for President!

Sorry John, but Mrs.Palin is absolutely bad to the bone.  The only thing I worried about was her speaking skills.  Well, I got to tell you that after watching her first speech, I’m not worried anymore.  Not at all.  Can she speak?  YES, SHE CAN!  Can she lead?  YES, SHE CAN!  Can she hunt, and fish, and raise a family of five (including a special needs child), and be a beauty queen, and become mayor, and become governor, and reform state wide corruption?  YES, SHE CAN (and did)!

Can she become VP?  YES, SHE CAN!

Can she become president?  YES, SHE CAN!

I just can’t stop thinking about what Hillary is doing right now.  She’s probably still in her bedroom, still in bed, and still in her long flannel granny pajamas, curled up with a large box of bonbons and Kleenex watching CNN while Bubba keeps bringing in various soups for her to try.  “I hate you Bill and this sh|tty worthless and loveless marriage I endured for you… and for what?  Why lord, why?!?!?  I could’ve married Webster Hubbell when I had the chance.”  To which Bill will reply, “Wait, is that Palin speaking on TV?  That’s not her daughter?  <mumbling under his breath>Wow, the chicks are that hot in Alaska!?!?  Honey, you know what you need?  A long vacation.  Hey, I’ve got an idea.  Let’s buy a nice summer vacation home…. in Alaska!”  To which Hillary will snap back, “It’s winter and we can’t afford it Bill, I spent all our money on a failed campaign, remember that asshole?”  While running out of the room and slamming the door to avoid the hot bowl of soup Hillary threw at him, he replies, “YES, WE CAN!”

And to think, the best part of all.  Now our grandchildren will never ever ever need to know who Hillary Clinton was when they read their history books.  “Look Mommy, one of many random and generic senators from New York!”  And Bill Clinton will not be the first first gentleman either.  Be gone Clintons, be gone forever!  This is a great day in history for history my friends.  A great day indeed.  Drinks on me!

Note: About six minutes into the video, check out what this photographer decided to do.  Not cool dude, not cool.  A little respect for our future VP (and four years from now, president).